NICU Baby (Tobias's Journey)

Tobias was born Tuesday, March 13, 2018 at 5:08 p.m.  Right when he was born the NICU team ran in to take care of him.  He was born with a very recessed jaw that was clenched shut, so he wasn't able to scream or make any loud noise for a couple of minutes.  As he was getting checked, I remember hearing the NICU nurse ask each other, "does she know about his feet?" and "does she know about his small hand?".  At that moment, I didn't care about what my baby looked like because all I wanted to hear was my sweet baby boy's cry.  I had never been so scared in my life.  After giving him oxygen for a few minutes, we finally heard him cry. The NICU team took him away to care for him and see what they could do about his jaw.

He had to have a g-tube to feed, since he could not open his mouth far enough to latch on to me or a bottle. Next morning, the doctors gave us some good news that his jaw was starting to loosen and he could open his mouth more.

Later that day, I able to feed Tobias his first bottle, which was a moment I will never forget.  His nurse, who I am now great friends with, told me she thought he was ready to try the bottle.  I asked if I could watch and I will will never forget her response.  She told me that I was going to be the one to feed him and that she would never take that moment away from me. I was sad that he wasn't able to breastfeed, so being able to at least bottle feed him was such an amazing experience for me.    

That night, we gave him his first bath.  

The next day, Tobias got his first pair of casts to start correcting his clubbed feet.  I was so surprised that at not even 2 days old, he was already starting that process. To this day, his dad and I are still so grateful for the orthopedic team who took the time to come to the NICU and start working with him. Those were the cutest casts I had ever seen!!!

Friday, the 16th, was one of the hardest days for his dad and I.  That morning, his doctors had told us they were going to fly him to Phoenix as soon as possible because they thought he was going to need special surgery to push his jaw forward. I remember I tried my best not to cry and tried to remain calm while filling out paperwork.  I asked if his dad could ride with him and they said no because of safety reasons in case the helicopter crashed.  That was a response no mom wants to hear hear.  My son could crash?  He could possibly not even make it to the hospital?  In that moment all of my worrying came to the surface and I could not help but cry.  

A little while later, the chopper was there to take him.  I watched as the 2 pilots pushed his carrier across the NICU towards us.  I had never cried so hard in my life.  While they strapped him up, my fiance kept telling me he was going to be ok.  

He made it to Phoenix's Banner's Desert Medical Center safe and sound.  While he was there he was seen by doctors for his health, a plastic surgeon for the webbing in his hand and possible jaw surgery, as well as, feeding specialists.  Those 9 days were the longest days of our lives.  

The surgeon believed no immediate surgery was needed, so all we needed was for Tobias to gain weight.  There were many days where we grew frustrated because they kept telling us he was doing awesome, but yet they wouldn't let him go home.  We were doing everything the nurses were doing.  We fed him, bathed him, changed him and obviously cuddled him every chance we got.  Everyday when it was time to weigh him, we would hold our breaths while we waited for the numbers to flash on the scale. Even though he was gaining weight, his doctor kept pushing his release date back because one of the feeding specialists was concerned by his feeding.  I grew frustrated and exhausted.  While we were tired of being there, I tried remaining strong as positive.  No matter what Tobias went through, our strong little boy kept thriving and powering through it all. 

After 11 days in the NICU we got the news that we were being released.  We quickly packed our bags and drove our little boy HOME!