Having A Child With Limb Differences

                Having a child with limb differences

When Tobias was first born, we knew that was just the beginning of a fulfilling, but also scary journey.  (As if parenthood isn't already like that lol).   Before he was born, we knew he had clubbed feet and the actions we would need to take to treat that.  But for his hand, we weren't quite sure what it would look like when he was born.  

Luckily, we were blessed with proactive doctors.  As soon as he was taken to the NICU, his doctors contacted a local orthopedic doctor who came and casted his clubbed feet when he was 2 days old.  For those who do not know, casting is the first steps to correct clubbed feet. His NICU doctor also knew of an amazing pediatric surgeon, so she flew him out to Phoenix to meet Dr. Workman when he was only 3 days old. So glad we met her because she is the one who did both of his hand surgeries and the first person who mentioned Moebius Syndrome to us! All in all, having amazing doctors is very important when having a child with limb differences.  That definitely eased my worries.  

However, I did choose to change his orthopedic doctor at about 8 months old and that was probably the hardest decision I have made so far! Was my gut telling me to do the right thing? In the end, YES! I am so happy we switched.  Follow your instinct mamas!

Another challenge we have faced is dealing with people who stare at Tobias out in public.  I am honestly not surprised when it happens.  I try and be very understanding and know that it is human nature to stare a little longer at something they aren't use to seeing everyday.  Tobias's medical shoes seem to catch many peoples' eyes.  In their defense, they do look pretty cool! lol. This doesn't bug me most days, but sometimes I do want to just ask them if they'd like to ask me about my child.  Not to be rude, but just to educate! I love when people take the time to ask me why he wear those shoes! It's much better than staring and not saying anything at all, for me at least.  And I am sure he won't love being stared at when he is old enough to realize it. 

There are also many times I forget Tobias has a limb difference.  Just today, I was brushing his teeth and looked down to see his little hand.  It wasn't until  I saw the scars that I was reminded of his surgery.  Another reminder of what a fighter he is. 

Speaking of scars and people staring, one worry I always go back to is bullying.  Those things make me aware that there is a chance people will choose to use those qualities he has and make them negative.  Ugh, the thought of someone saying something unkind to him just because of the way he was born absolutely turns my stomach.  But I know we are still a ways from that happening (hopefully) and who knows, it might not happen at all!! I know I need to be more positive when it comes to those thoughts, but I think its just natural mama worries. 

The most important thing I want to share is that not only do I want others to accept his limb differences, but I also want him to!  I want him to know that he was born the way he was for a reason.  It will be exciting for him to overcome obstacles others do not face everyday.  And I can't wait to help guide him through those moments. 

As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and follow Tobias's journey! xo