Why We Wanted a 2nd Baby

Leading up to my Second Pregnancy

Before Adrian and I had kids, we had plenty of time to plan our future.  We were together for 7 years when we decided to start trying for a baby (Tobias).  By then we knew we wanted a few and would love them close in age.  When I was pregnant with Tobias, I loved it so much that I said, "I would get pregnant again right away".  

After he was born I went back and forth in my head about whether I wanted another one right away.  All of his weekly doctor appointments and upcoming scheduled surgeries made me lean towards not having other baby for a few years.  But there were also many moments right after I had him, that I said, "I would love to have another one right now."  Call me crazy, but I was just so obsessed with him and he was such a good baby!  

But then I realized a deeper reason I wanted another one right away.  I realized I was mourning the "dream delivery" that I thought I was going to have.  For those of you who do not know, Tobias had to be rushed to the NICU as soon as he was born, so it was hours before I got to hold him.  While he was there for almost 2 weeks,  he was covered in wires so I only did skin to skin once and I still wish I would have done it more often.  So basically what I am saying is I wanted another baby immediatly  because I was longing to have that hospital experience where I hold my baby right away and do skin to skin for hours after its here.  I also wasn't able to breast feed Tobias due to his facial paralysis, so I longed to have that connection with my baby as well. 

Once I realized I was being selfish wanting another baby, I put those thoughts aside.  Keep in mind I was going through that when he was around 1-2 months old.  As the months went on, I became busier with his weekly appointments. Also, his surgeries kept getting pushed back farther and farther.  It was around that time I decided I wanted to take an additional year off of teaching. 

At that time I was still wanting to try for baby #2 soon, but I was looking for signs that it was the right decision.  "Should I have another baby, while I stay at home for another year?"  "Can we even afford another baby if if Im not going to be working?" "Will I have enough time for all of Tobias's appointments?" I drove myself crazy debating whether or not we should try for baby #2 sooner rather than later.  Deep down I really wanted to, but I'm too much of a planner and over thinker to tell myself JUST GO FOR IT!  

I kept weighing the pros and cons until I came across some good advice that solidified my decision.  Since my main concern was Tobias, I wanted to make sure this was going to impact him in a positive way.  That is when I reached out to a facebook group I'm in called "Moebius Moms".  I started a discussion basically asking them "If siblings have been more beneficial or harmful to their kids who have Moebius".  I got over 30 replies and every since one of them said it was the best thing for their child with Moebius.  They pointed out it gives them someone to socialize with, be active with and just help them feel normal. 

After reading that, Adrian and I agreed we would love for Tobias to have a sibling close in age.  Now that we are officially expecting baby #2, we are just completely over joyed with what this means for our family.  I know this will obviously take some time away from Tobias. But since I have been there for him 24/7 his first year of life, I know it will be a good thing for him to learn not to be so dependent on me because the reality is I am not going to be by his side every second of his life.  That being said, I can not wait for Tobias to play, laugh, talk, and be silly with his little brother. I know they are going to have an amazing bond.